Robbed and punched and left for dead…. But no not robbed of
my spirit and my inner fight to survive.
I have been robbed of my now and my future with another as who wants a
woman with no means to support herself and others…..I maybe alone - But I am Marjorie, The
Moroccan criminal did not realise that an English woman and a Northerner cannot
be broken….she may have been taken for a ride in her openness to love and to trust
and to care…. But by God when she wakes to the full impact of his true
character and his manipulative use of her… then she becomes strong and fights
on for not only herself but other women too. I have
done so much with nothing and times of very little….. I have achieved much within this time alone… Even walked in parliament my stomach growling with hunger and with down
trodden shoes …but walked tall turning the negative pain into campaign…
A
campaign to get women’s voices heard…. We need our dignity our financial
dignity given back so we can free ourselves from the torturous talons of our
perpetrator captors…talons that penetrate into our very being even after we have left that tethers us to the past… We need a government to see
the pain and understand the pain of our pathway ... our need to heal and detox from
the ugliness of violence upon us…. We need the loving support of a system that understands
not one that fails us and continues to batter us down with no financial support
to give us the dignity we deserve…. We are the victims not the criminals and
for the DWP malpolicies to be designed to demonise those in need it is not acceptable for anyone that is in need of benefit help… Yes women
want to work but have to be ready mentally, physically and spiritually to enter
the work arenas …they cannot take the pressures immediately or for sometime after, even for
years after with the post-traumatic stress and pain. Some will never be able to
work never be able to reconnect with the woman they used to be….some so physically maimed not be able to work at all... I think of a survivor in my neighbourhood with her back broken by her perpetrator on morphine for the rest of her life and walks with a rolator every painful step a reminder of his fool deed on her...yet only in her thirties! Policies to
support need to be written with full understanding of the pathway of hurt and
rebuild that is needed….
There can be those that do not understand that think “oh
she is out of it she must get on with her life now!” some women do get on with work life but at some point the pain pours out....... I have witnessed this is a long term survivor that held her self together for the sake of her kids.....but POW! when the kids were grown and independent then all the pain came thundering out of her and she had to go on the path of healing and detoxing from the ugliness of violence upon her........
Some will say. "what kind of a woman
lets a man hit her I would never let a man touch me!” These remarks show
ignorance of the nature of the criminal perpetrator on his prey. It is like blaming or criticising a soldier captured & tortured by the enemy….. would you really fix blame on
that soldier that fell to an ambush? Women were ambushed in a way. Women fell victim to a criminal perpetrator…. Who was
manipulative of her heart and her love, used her and abused her….. held her in
fear for some women but mostly held her in his manipulation of her love. I once wrote an article that was published anonymously
in the nursing press…I entitled the work “Caresses like Feathers, Fists like
Iron!”… this was to give you the idea of the duality of the perpetrators
character….. he can be gentle and caring and loving that is who you fell in
love with.... then the monster in him reveals itself of being the violent controller…
and yes his fists can be like iron…. as I write this I have the pain and
imagery come back to me of what it is like to be punched so hard in the face in
the eye and how the optic nerve can be so intensely triggered you are lost in
the overwhelming bright light that is sent through your brain and seems to
surround your very being to disorientate you.
I have seen my cheek and orbital area swell from looking out that in
that moment been in a panic that my eye ball has been jolted out of my socket. So intense the punch..
Then comes the caresses like feathers again and the
remorseful holding of you in his arms. The begging of forgiveness and how can he
do this to his precious darling…he won’t drink again he claims. Then kisses he plants on the bruises he made….tenderly cares for you as you lay like an injured animal unable to move in shock on the bed. He asks that you give him another chance… he will accuse you of making him angry
and he lost control he did not know what came over him….He can even make the
most wonderful love of his victim to capture her again in his monstrous talons
of cruel manipulation of her heart and her loving nature. She believes and she feels the love, but this is
distorted love and yet it leads her to protect him, she becomes passive and can deny the attack on her
being not only outwardly to the police but inwardly as she falls for his hall
of mirror control of her.
It is bizarre I know even I looking back on the abuse I fell
for ....now can see how bizarre this is….. if a total stranger came in your house
and attacked you – you would be trying like crazy to shout for help or reach
for the phone to get the police and prosecute…. But this is the man you love or
the projected caring side of him that you love….. it is cruel beyond cruel that
a man can do this to a woman rape and control her inner spirit and heart that
simply just wants to love a man and care for him… as a partner in life…. Yet this
criminal perpetrator character has an hidden agenda. a aim to use and abuse her and move on when
he has done his foul deed of destroying her…. Or continues and continues till
she can take no more and flees from his clutches……
Some glib remarks that come our way to suggest we enjoy his
beating! How cruel some peoples ignorance can be…. Suggesting it is a form of
consented enjoyed sadism…. But the chain the woman is bound with is the chain of 9
amino acids called oxytocin…. She fell in love with this monster bonded to the
kind gentle side of him…the side he projected to win her over to deliberate
capture her heart and this is why she stays, can even think she can heal him and
make him better from the foul side of him…
Reading this like me typing this you can feel the heavy evil
control of a criminal perpetrator over his prey…..
You can see how women need the time and space to heal and
detox from this ugliness so needs a government DWP policy written with the
understanding of this. Be non-judgemental and certainly not become a pseudo perpetrator
by beating her down with failed support or inadequate support.
Help us break free from the past not keep us tethered to the
past and all its pain! We need financial dignity to truly heal and move on …but
may not be ready for some time to enter the job market till we have fully detoxed
from the vile control of our very nature as a woman that loves too much!
I am grateful that this blog has become a Voice for Women to
be heard in Whitehall … It cannot be accepted as a formal written statement for
the Home Affairs Select Committee Inquiry into Domestic violence as the blog is
already out in the public domain….but can be referred too and is being read to
help the committee understand… I am more than willing to go before the
committee to share my experience as an expert by experience…..
Alongside this my voice has been heard in the City Hall of
London through the Victim’s Commissioner report into assessing the victims pathway after all types
of crime upon them…
So Marjorie is her mothers daughter and when knocked down
get up and stands tall turns her pain into campaign for all women aside her and
behind her that have survived domestic violence and just simply ask for the
right of financial dignity to heal and rebuild their broken lives…
For those women that were born in 1950s that have been long term survivors of domestic abuse and reached old age with not the assets they once
had… it is fundamental that she be permitted her state pension. Over 60s out of
the job market find it very difficult to get paid posts offered but endless
voluntary work offered…So this must be recognised on an individual case basis and
under the protection of support for women survivors… In my situation to simply
get my state pension would give some value and dignity back from this my
motherland..... after all I have paid in to the system so have the right for this…. And
if we as the WASPI campaign can get a lump sum compensation that would be
wonderful for me to completely BREAK FREE from the past and truly rebuild what
bit of my life is left to build as I enter my elderly years.
Please keep signing the petition to show your support for women's voices to be heard.... Many thanks Marjorie
Turning pain into Campaign!
Reform the DWP policies to help women heal and rebuild.... when will we get this right and fair for women? Sign the petition it is still on the go till I get some debate for reform. Petition for Strong & Stable Pathway of Support for Survivors This campaign must continue till achieved it goals no matter what happens to me... I have to get a better pathway of support for women!
