1950s born Ombudsman Report

The pain and campaign goes on for we 1950s born women. Ombudsman Report

But a very shocking time on twitter as we face opposition, challenge and hateful abuse from trolls. It is abuse experienced over our time of campaign as if young being pitched against old. To illustrate it is like an old lady being mugged in the street and robbed of her purse. You would expect a public outcry in support of the lady robbed and indeed we do get large support of our 1950s born case. But the trolls are like in my old lady mugging example are part of the mugging gang shouting abuse and saying we deserve to be mugged.  I managed to screenshot comments and tweet into the metropolitan police, Mayor of London and my MP which calmed a  troll down. 

But my local police made me aware of the Report Hate Crime link as the trolls display hate, misogynistic and ageism attitudes. This is the link to use and it is strongly suggested to screenshot offensive posts before perpetrators delete them once they know they are being reported. Report Hate Crime  I have made our 195Os born women aware of this Link.  Take a look at the poster below that one of our 1950s women put together at the beginning of our campaign. It clearly shows all the psychological impact of being targetted by government to rob us of 6 years State Pension.. so trolls adding to this abuse is most certainly not acceptable. Where is the empathy and compassion from government and trolls. As I always highlight we are the daughters of those that served and survived WW2 and helped rebuild the nation post war. But we are 1950s born women and rise to any challenges. We are life warriors. 

Seventy 2024 milestone

January can be a tricky time for us all. Long dark days and nights with cold weather. But this year been extra tricky for me. I had a good Christmas with the family well as good as any of us could have given the world in horrendous turmoil. I have been jostled in a sort of grief as the world not the way I would like it to be in Peace Love Harmony and Togetherness.  My campaigns and concerns continue as I respond to pain in troubled areas of the world, often feeling frustrated with my age and now inability to fling on scrubs to respond with teams of carers to areas of extreme need. I do however remain a keyboard warrior to highlight pain and try to link up to key organisations and politicians. 

But in among this is the milestone year I have reached as this March I will be 70 years of age. I have put a photo image of a Cessna to depict that I have not always navigated and flown my life in a smooth way. There has most certainly been turbulence to steer through. Before I elaborate on how I am feeling as I reach this milestone I will tell you that I actually do have some PPL Private Pilot Licence flying hours. I often wished I could have gone on to have got my licence. I love flying. Yes my hours of actually flying lessons was in the early 1990s when I lived in Cookridge Leeds near Leeds/Bradford Airport. I had watched Cessnas fly over my garden and really wished to have a go. It was at a time when my first marriage of 25 years was going through a rocky ride with the recession of the time. I needed to fly above my problems and the trial lessons with the adventure gave me some release. As I flew up in the sky it was like the problems I was facing were shrinking down on the ground. It was the first time ever I had flown and I loved the freedom and the challenge. My instructor recognised this and wished I carried on to study for my licence. 

But what of the 70 years milestone now scroll on and you will see my sharing of this blog post.

Born in 1954 and now in 2024 it is the start of my 7th decade time of life on this Earth. But this is the sting I am not the woman of substance I should have been or could have been. Rather than reaching my elder years financially comfortable with investments, property, savings and pension plans other than state pension and end of life plans... I am vulnerable through my failure to pilot my life better round relationships and career opportunities. 

I have allowed myself to head & land into toxic relationships not one but two. My first husband was not toxic we had 25 years of marriage. I married at 16 and had a good head on me for our first mortgage negotiated a good deal on our first property. We had our two daughters. I continued my education at night school and attained 7 O levels and 2 A levels then studied to be a nurse. I built up from State Enrolled Nurse to Registered Nurse got a BSc in Nursing and then studied to be a Midwife. My first husband had a good job and we property climbed. Then the recession hit and we lost everything.  I was the money manager and I felt I had and still feel I mismanaged our finances and did not react to the word of recession on the news and what it would mean to us. I needed to have steered us better through the turbulence. 

i was easily distracted by affairs with doctors and lost my bearings. We divorced so he could find a new life and I find a new course heading which took me on the Ashram trail in India to find the spiritual meaning of life! 

Then husband #2 Shaji Vincent came in my life but though I had felt love with him he turned out to be a troubled soul and a violent controller. The relationship was both toxic and turbulent. There would be periods of normality fun loving and periods of controlling, manipulative put me down criticism. The abuse was violent beatings and attempted strangulations. As I look back I was also a money making machine for his goals. Though he found work as soon as he arrived in the UK being a fluent English speaker and IT skilled he did also see my earning ability as an agency midwife. We bought a house ..well mortgaged on Ashford Ave Hayes and started to refurbish. I was going through the menopause and there were times i was ill to go on duty.  I remember him literally tipping me out of the bed lifting up the mattress and telling me to go to work you lazy bag of sh@@... I was most certainly not lazy I would work 12 hours busy shifts on a busy birthing unit.. often without breaks .. My scrubbing skills would often have to respond to emergency C sections alongside my own case work.  

I would drive home and have to read him like a set of traffic lights as to what mood he was in on my return home. 

Green light he was normal loving and we could make a meal together sit and watch TV and had chat no aggro, 

Amber light he was in a mood and I would have to be careful and modify my approach to ensure I did not antagonise him. 

Red light he was aggressive and controlling. It was at these times I failed to modify and went through the red light to get more bruising and foulness. 

I stuck this cycle of mood changes and his controlling for 15 years how stupid this.  PLEASE ANY WOMEN READING THIS ON THE FIRST SIGN OF CONTROL AND VIOLENCE STOP BY GETTING OUT OF THE TOXIC RELATIONSHIP.  it is will not be easy as you will be as you think in love but you are in love with the persona he attracts you to him. He gets into your heart and pants and can make amazing love with you, then you find you have another side to his nature the controller, the aggressor, the violence. The police had been involved numerous times and I had fallen short of prosecuting somehow in my head feeling I was putting him in jail. The police saying no he will be the one putting himself in jail with his behaviour. 

He had problems I had had wanted to heal him. Even got him on the DVIP programme. But the beatings continued and the controlling continued. I began to feel like the police had warned me women snap.. I got out of the relationship as I had had enough.  I could not take anymore and felt I could murder him .. yes me put on earth to care and nurse and love .. I was manipulated by him to sign over the property and I FOOLISHLY DID.. to get out..... 

It turns out he was seeing another woman a younger woman that he could have children with. He married her and moved her into our house where I had been beaten up many times. A house I had helped to pay for with my busy shifts.  They have two children and I have met his wife called round one time to tell her to be careful and that if he starts his violence upon her to call the police immediately as there are numerous file call out on him from myself and neighbours that heard his attacks on me.  But she says he is lovely man.  Perpetrators are brilliant actors to cover their inner toxicity by being able to project a persona of the good person, the highly respected society citizen. They gaslight and try to make their victim look as the bad one.  When talking with his new wife I could tell she had the impression I was the problem not him. So he had woven his tale to suit his needs. 

So I lost my assets to husband #2 he controlled the divorce out of court filing papers so no intrusion into the DV history or challenge to split assests by a judge!  

My career ruined I felt unable to give of myself and I felt ashamed of the situation I had allowed myself to fall into.  

I was housed by the council and then I met with my Moroccan husband #3 stupidly now as I look back from a relationship on facebook. I had one night been feeling so depressed with PTSD that I could have lost myself completely in the mess I was in. This young man started to chat with me.. and the relationship blossomed... I managed to return to some work as a nurse & some part time teaching on a pre nursing course and I met him and it felt that he was truly caring for me and adored me.  We married in Casablanca, it felt secure with the their government scrutinising the relationship as per procedure when a foreign national marries. The Moroccan gov ensuring that the bride is not being scammed into marriage for migration. 

But I was scammed in my vulnerability! When Amine Bahhaj came to the UK he started to change, time out of the house home late and drunk! The violence began to lead to me on one morning being brutally kicked and sustained the fracture to my left ulna.  See my past posts on this to read how  I protected him from arrest and then him leaving me two years after to move in with Sylvia, a Portuguese national ....and self confessed prostitute living in a multiple occupancy house in Hounslow. This then led to me revealing the truth of my fracture and his arrest but the CPS failing to prosecute him. 

So my journey,  my flight path became one of turning my pain into campaign. 

Campaign on a key point that perpetrators will financially cripple their victims. 

Careers ruined 

Business ruined

Investments taken 

Property taken 

the victim or we must say survivor of this abuse left at the mercy of DWP weak support.  The system battering women survivors with drops in support! A dangerous failing of a State Duty of Care as per UN directives! 

You will see in this blog how I  have tried to campaign for a better financial support to help women heal through the PTSD and detox from the toxicity of violence upon her whole being. 

Survival is a very important point to stress as each beating could have resulted in loss of my life. 

you will read from this blog and my other blogs that I have tried so hard in my survivorship journey. 

I have taken my campaign to other areas of pain in the world. Become and activist on Domestic and International issues so have:-

Joined the WASPI campaign as my birth in 1950s led me to fall into the loss of 6 years State Pension another failing by government. This would have given me some financial dignity and although I now get State Pension, the £46,000 lost to the rise in retirement age we are all fighting for would be very very useful now in my life. 

 

I have Helped refugees and set up my own personal project Family Link Up that took me even to time in Eleonas Camp Athens. 

I have mentored a Palestinian Nurse through his BSc Nursing he went on to gain a MSc in Pubic Health, got a paper published in the European Journal of Oncology Nursing and now works for Medicin Sans Frontiere. I am in pain with him and his pregnant wife being in the horrors of Gaza now,  But has a write this blog just had a message come in he and his wife alive! Each day I worry for their safety & survival. 

I have campaigned to help Richard when he needed to turn his pain into campaign to free his wife Nazanin from Iran. 

I have boldly gone in to parliament to attend All Party Parliamentary Groups to get my voice heard for other DV survivors in the APPG Poverty and for my refugees. Joined the APPG Friends of Syria that the late Jo Cox MP created and learnt much about war zones uncensored material on weapons and injuries.

But I have not yet achieved the goal of improved financial support for survivors of DV and in fact a need for reparation! You will see how I have interacted with the Victim's Commissioner and also a Whitehall Enquiry on DV. 

I have attended UN & EU zoom conferences on international issues and got my voice heard and valued in question times. So I know I do have a value as Marjorie, the person I am from all my experiences. 

I have studied short university online courses on international law and human rights to enhance my portfolio with a view to find some paid post,

I have concern over the health impact of climate change and campaigned for this too. 

Tried to enhance my languages skills in Arabic, Dutch, German and French..

I do have a value as me but I am in pain a not being the woman of substance I could have been and should have been to be able to navigate my way through my most vulnerable years as I move further into old age. No major financial assets, property and investments to not only help me if needed in old age but to leave my family when I depart this world, 

But being the pilot of my life you will see from my other blog that I am proactive at Brunel University helping with Ageing Studies So I have a personal value as indeed other local OAPs in their Older Person Reference Group. 

Yesterday I needed some counselling support as I was depressed and I went along to the Women's centre in Hillingdon. They have not got the drop in service like I have experienced before. I did however have some time to try and reach out to the way I was feeling and the need to collectively campaign for a better support... and that here I am in my older years still feeling the effects of being a DV survivor. The team were to go into a meeting but did hear what I was saying. One of the team accessed this blog on my request to use my blog, my case to see the support that is needed. 

We need government to listen and act in response to the not only immediate needs of DV but the long term consequences.  

The team offered me a possible placement on their short course of healing on the journey to acceptance of the situation. I feel this will not be appropriate as i NEED to continue turning my pain into campaign for all women to be able to heal and detox from the ugliness of violence and abuse upon them. This needs the practicality of better platform of financial support on the journey of life rebuild.

I went across the road to the Centre of Hope that Councillor Becky Haggar had set up for those diagnosed with Brain Tumour.  I have worked alongside Becky when we were both volunteers at the Community Cancer Centre in Yiewsley.  I needed to speak with her to tell her of my pain now at this milestone of 70 year age. She was in a meeting so left her a card from the centre shop and found also this bracelet (see pic) in the centre shop.  The colours of Chakras in this bracelet has been as if Becky holding my hand while I am wearing it.. I hope we have time together to share my pain expressed now in this post. She is a kind caring person with deep understanding. I hope she will help be a voice for women survivors too. We all need a Centre of Hope within our being. Amal is the Arabic for Hope. With hope comes a need for peace... inner... and outer around the world. 

Keeping strong & getting voices heard

 

I am here not updated for awhile as have been mega busy with all sorts of campaigns to get voices heard.. All the zooming & webinars has kept me energised. The climate and health impact a great concern .. 

All my health checks were good ...the worry about blanking off and forgetfulness was put down to pandemic lockdown topsy turvy time. Others too had this. But the specialist did think good to perform CT head given my DV history and 20 years of head trauma from two toxic marriages!! We really do need to be mindful of DV survivors needing follow up health checks over lifetime. Memory Check I also had another check up from the ENT specialist at Mount Vernon to exclude throat cancer. 

I have shared with you before that I can get choking panic attacks with feeling of being strangled..from the many attempts of strangulation by perpetrators. It can come on when I touch the dark toxic past pain as part of my PTSD.. but I have had also ( as now) a more mechanical anatomical problem of difficulty in swallowing & a lump in my throat.  But ENT endoscopy at Out Patients urgent appointment revealed healthy throat, vocal chords. Thank goodness.. the ENT specialist so kind and we viewed the endoscope recording together.. full respect for me being a fellow health professional. He concluded it was sensation and other patients presented with such. That is why he had the endoscope to help immediately assess new referrals.  I could have skipped and jumped for joy. I have nursed cancer patients with care & love but never relish being one. Though the kind caring of the specialist would have made me feel in good healing hands if I had to face cancer.

So with health reassured & my lockdown sitdown zooming sciatica healed ..I am zooming literally all over again campaigning.  I do take my walking stick folded in my bag if out for a great length of time just in case my legs and arthritic knees ache too much.

NOW the need to review the DWP support of DV survivors needs more campaign to get voices heard. It is not helping with parliament being in disarray.. constitutional rules messed with, code of conduct under question and we still have covid restrictions on public lobbying in the central lobby and attending APPGs & Committee meetings..

UK Parliament MPs Code of Conduct

Pandemic Zooming Gets voices heard

 

Some screen captures from Thursday 17th September webinar on DV and housing. There was chance to contribute through the chat but the questions and answers we all lost an opportunity as the webinar clashed with another meeting coming in.  Sarayna Kogulathas has apologised on Twitter for clash and will be sending recording to us all. It was good she has recognised this blog as a future reference.  My main concern is getting women a strong and stable financial platform to regain financial dignity and help rebuild lives as she heals and detoxes from the ugliness of violence upon her whole being.  It is unacceptable that government DWP malpolicies batter survivors with drops in support and inadequate support. It was also good to highlight that when a woman is out of the DV she needs housing placement in a good calm caring neighbourhood, not one where other perpetrators live or high volume of Anti Social Behaviour. The point is that when out you can have trigger reminders that touch the deep pain of the past... it is a difficult journey with PTSD! I have just had 24 hours of low mood from attending this webinar and also Loose Women covered DV as Eastenders have been focusing on this in their production. No matter how strong we are there is always an active point into the pain and a reminder why you are in the situation you are in now... But we are alive and this is important as with every attack on you it could have resulted in your death.  WE ARE TRULY SURVIVORS! 

I am going to jump to this slide on Jasmines journey to highlight the complexity of control & the dangers! 

Thank goodness for agencies and organisational teams that understand needs and are there to support survivors 

Ref: DAHA ; Standing Together ; Gentoo ; Peabody ; Women's Aid and I am adding DVIP

Council tenancy to review

More challenge for me to look at for all women as my council tenancy comes into review.   I have been quietly getting on with my life in this New Year, coping with the craziness we have all found ourselves in as we entered 2020 to world politics disarray to national disarray and unknowing our fate to climate change challenges of floods. I have been nurturing myself now able with state pension paid weekly. I pay my council rent for the council OAP studio bungalow, council tax, E.ON, Talk talk and TV licence. Apparently do not qualify for Pension credit and now expected to pay more for my council rent.  I am getting into a routine though we as a Granny Revolution are after the robbed State Pension due to our birth in the 1950s! We will not stop till our brass is in our pockets as we paid in half century tax and NI.  I am coping with the changes to being an OAP entering my most vulnerable years, not the woman of financial substance I should have been and could have been if I had not had to suffer DV and lost assets.

The older age group brings its arthritic knees for me and the most bizarre changes in the way folk talk to you.. I am fascinated by the question that keeps rearing of can I work a computer! to which I reply it was our generation that invented it.. But I have to admit I did not master Basic or Fortran programming!! Why do people think grey hair and arthritic knees means lost intelligence and personality and fail to appreciate all your life experiences!

So here is the issue I am bringing to the blog today that is bothering me not only for me but for all women DV survivors and for those of us that are in the transition to OAP.  It has come to light that I am in a fixed term tenancy not a life long tenancy.

I had thought that as I was in an OAP bungalow I would be here till I pegged it or heaven forbid needed nursing home care! I find this unsettling. I had a visit from a kindly housing officer this week to review my tenancy. We talked outside her role shared our spirituality and was discussing how we need in the London Borough of Hillingdon to review our platform of support for DV survivors and the elderly. We also need to recognise the support 1950s women need as they find a 6 yrs of State Pension taken from them. Some without savings due life circumstances, some been out of earning as caring for older parents. Some eroding savings due to lack of State Pension now when they need it.   We need compassion in our politics, we need compassion in our society for without compassion there is no society!  
I also was concerned that there was a request to see my bank statements even though I had presented my letter from the DWP Pensions to confirm I am now in receipt of my state pension and the weekly amount I receive. I declined the viewing of my bank statement under Human Rights Act 1998 Article 8 the right to privacy. i felt this was intrusive and invasive given that the council already know my circumstances and that I am now officially an OAP.  I was told that I would receive a letter to terminate my fixed term contract for this OAP bungalow and not to get upset as there would be another letter to offer renewed tenancy at my present address or elsewhere.  I have chatted with a neighbour who is in her seventies and she is baffled why I am having all this hassle. She has always been a council tenant and when old age struck got her OAP bungalow and is hers is a secure tenancy for her life.
So now I am looking why and what is the criteria  for me to be on a fixed tenancy.. I am looking at the Shelter site  as today woke feeling unsettled and could cry as... why ...it feels like I am being victimised and this should not be the case I should feel love cared for respected and especially given my DV survivorship history and being a victim. So if you follow the link to Shelter states that for fixed term contract there should be an offer of renewed fixed term or secured tenancy. There are points made on eviction if anti social behaviour or not paying rent or in arrears... Well I do have alleged arrears but as I have pointed out in this blog and to the APPG Poverty arrears occur not from failure to pay but when the system fails to support a person on JSA; ESA; 
I have had drops in support that led to me nearly dying with poverty induced pneumonia and another from work capability assessment then the transition from ESA to State Pension! WE NEED TO REVIEW THE DWP as the system is failing citizens in need.. the citizen suffers the effects of said arrears, debts, threats of eviction when it was not their fault but the system malpolicies failing them. I have to get women's voices heard - please learn from my case sharing. My voice is being heard but we still need action to change for the better.

I have been to a conference in Oxford on Compassion in Politics and we seriously need to change the way we govern and care for our citizens not only nationally but globally. Time for Change! and yes #bekind to one another and our communities. 

I hope you enjoyed my flowers from my garden and my cats Lulu & Pengu. Lulu has had to have vet treatment for a skin allergy so had to pay out vet fees.  I need to go to my bank as my account does not facilitate direct debits so I need to get an additional account that does as I need to set up Pet Cover and also I need to sort out my Funeral cover too - I must be realistic as now I am biologically wending my way to the final call... Like a growing concern that some cannot afford funeral cost would have to rely on a public health burial.  I am sharing this out of practicality not being morbid... but I will share another garden photo to raise the mood again hhh One of my fuschia plants - As a TV gardener Jeffery Smith would say the Peacock of all flowers.. 

Welcome 2020 and Voices to be Heard

21st century Marjorie standing where Marjory Humes, one of the Suffragettes chained herself to the statue of Viscount Falkland in St Stephens Hall.
I have spent lots of time over the recent years in Parliament lobbying and attending relevant committee meetings to get Women's Voices Heard. My campaign for DWP reforms for DV survivors to gain a strong financial platform of support on the pathway to healing and rebuilding her life.  As I am a 1950s born women have joined the voices of those cheated out of their pension funds with the shift in retirement age from 60yrs to 66yrs.... I continue to struggle with the failings of a badly thought out set of policies.... so we must fight on for reform. I have over Christmas been inspired by Gutsy Women a compilation of women over the years that had their voices heard for change.  So thanks to Hilliary & Chelsea for producing this book.  In among my campaigning I also give support to Syrian refugees as we are all traumatised souls rebuilding our lives so have a special bond. I am also a retired RN RM so cannot ignore the pain in the world to be healed. I can be a voice for them in Parliament too. 

The book went with me to the Deans Yard Westminster Abbey just before Christmas - for the "Launch of Social Housing, Affordable Rents & Elimination of Homelessness Bill."

Judge gives decision in my favour

Yesterday on International Day for Elimination of Violence of Women... I had a HM Courts & Tribunals Service court case in my appeal against the Tory DWP malpolicies and  drops in support and unfair sanctioning on my journey of healing from DV as a survivor.  I could not go and felt I was letting women down but the women survivors will understand it was the touching of the pain again and again and I had a choking panic attack.. my throat goes tight as if being strangled... Had many an attempt in my history of abuse of attempted strangulation..  So I emailed the courts to tell them of my inability to attend and submitted this blog as evidence of my front-line experience of failings of the DWP malpolicies to support women. CC my MP John McDonnell and bcc the acting PM.. My case compounded by also being a 1950s born women and denied my pension at 60 which would have given me some financial dignity and some peace to move forward and heal from the pain. I also informed Andy my representative from Z2K a charity helping vulnerable people that have been failed by DWP malpolicies.  My representative attended tribunal & I have received an email to say THE JUDGE RULED IN MY FAVOUR and apologised for all the pain and that my case was not heard earlier....I HAVE HAD WOMEN'S VOICES HEARD... after this election no matter who is the PM we need URGENT REFORM OF POLICIES to support women survivors not batter them with drops in support... survivors have been financially crippled by perpetrators and we need reparation and a good financial pathway of support to help us heal, detox from ugliness of violence upon us and be allowed to rebuild our lives in peace not twanged back to the past and the pain over and over again with drops in support... each drop in support puts her life at risk... suicide from PTSD! and we need to recognised the complexity of the pain that some women 10 yrs 15 yrs and life time are affected physically, emotionally psychologically socially and financially... it is a serious crime from controlling violent perpetrators...
Crazy Love why women stay TED LECTURE

Turning pain into Campaign!

Red Rose Labour Evening to help get Voices heard!

 Monday 25th November:  busy any enjoyable evening with Emily Thornberry coming to Uxbridge to support the Labour candidate Ali Milani..... so had some time with all and had lovely care and support for 1950s women... we had local reporters and the French TV5... my French froze but on the way home to Hayes on the bus it all came tumbling in my mind what I could have said in French hhhhh
Then back in Hayes was able to join the Webinar video conferencing with Rebecca Long Bailey - had a great time listening to the many young minds in the conference with some great ideas on the Green Revolution to problem solve Climate Change.....and had ideas and researched reading to share too... all for Wave kinetic energy, Pavegen footfall kinetic energy and been reading up on innovative ideas from India to share.... from edible spoons to using ground up plastics in tarmac for road building.....
Stimulating evening!

Labour MP's applaud WASPI women protesting Chancellor's speech

Thank you to the Daily Mail and other news reporting sites but sadly this was not mentioned on the TV news channels - just like the 10th October rally there seems to be a government silencing of media to report the injustice and pain of women born in the 1950s denied their pension at 60yrs! I find it deplorable and a disgrace that we have a Government prepared to ignore the social pain that their malpolicies create for society!  As people find out about the injustice there is more and more support for the WASPI women. Amazing that the Tory Party are prepared to lose over 3 million votes because of this situation. Thank you to the Labour Party and the SNP for showing your support!

My voice continues to be heard but needs action!

I have been active though you will see that there has been a gap on my updates for this blog.

The reason I kept static on the postings was that I had submitted the blog as referenced evidence to the Dept of Home Affairs for their Inquiry into Domestic Abuse,

The report is out but sadly my points have not been highlighted.Parliamentary Inquiry into Domestic Abuse There are lots of references in the witness statements to financial abuse but not the overt recognition of the need to support women better on their pathway of healing, detoxing from the ugliness of violence upon her and rebuilding her broken life.  

I strongly continue to state that women's lives are being put at risk when she is left penniless, her career ruined and at the mercy of welfare benefits.... There is much attention on the failings of the DWP to support those in need generally on the news as we move towards Universal Credit being rolled out nationally... We hear of those that have weeks without funds and those that have been sanctioned on JSA for failing to turn up to appointments (for women subjected to DV this should be an alert to check on her safety)  or simply unable to find any work, those on ESA that have had their GP assessment countered by a work capability assessment deemed fit for work then the darn welfare support suddenly stopped.  These failing are DANGEROUS TO WOMEN SURVIVORS - she could return to her perpetrator and the next beating be her murder or she could commit suicide in the post traumatic stress depression.  WE SIMPLY CANNOT IGNORE THIS VERY REAL RISK FACTOR... We have to also see that women when they "get out" of the abuse is NOT a case of "she is out of it so safe and over it...." the psychological damage can take years to heal and will always be in flash backs from the trauma.  I have shared with you before that when I have had DWP  hassle and local council hassle from letters to say my funds have been stopped and demands for payments, when have no funds to pay as led to - twanging me back to the past and its pain.  You can lay on the bed depressed and feel every punch... and kick..... and slap again..... and hear all the horrid vile things that have be shouted at you to belittle you and humiliate you.  

I, along with other survivors feel when the system fails us it is like that system has become our perpetrator battering us over and over again. 

We really need reparation for the criminal act on us by our perpetrators and we need a strong and stable pathway of support to healing... with an overlap of support when we are ready to enter the job market to be sure we can cope.  The funding for this from government will not be wasted but paid back in the income tax we will earn from being settled again in some work and regaining our financial dignity.. 

To care is an investment for the our future well being. 

Inadequate support that pushes women into poverty with hunger and no financial dignity is unacceptable and a breech of State Duty of Care to survivors - and this is to UN directives on care of women subjected to violence in war and peace time.  

As a society we must review our whole stance at the present attitudes and mal policies of the DWP...... the vulnerable and needy must have and deserve protection with the right to financial dignity. 

For me left penniless by my perpetrators I have another issue to contend with and campaign for..... that of my State Pension. I was born in 1954 so fallen foul of the shift in retirement age.  I have submitted a complaint about the DWP on the two issues I am facing as I move to my most vulnerable years in old age penniless. My form to the Parliamentary Ombudsman has been given to my MP & Shadow Chancellor John McDonnell to present my case.

Continuing to turn Pain into Campaign.

But in that pain have been referred to the Community Mental health team as I dropped into a form of Seligman's helplessness waking each morning to the same problem no matter how pro active I have been... and continue to be... waking with a choking sensation my throat tightened in a panic attack and coughing and vomiting - a most horrid feeling and a physical manifestation of the way I am feeling - choked with the situation unable to escape from the claws of the past abuse upon me and be free to rebuild my life with dignity. 

You can catch up on the campaigning for my State Pension with the #shouldertoshoulder rally on my Cup of tea share care blog... The rally on the 10th October INTERESTINGLY was not covered on the mainstream TV news channels despite the women stopping traffic outside parliament... why is government wanting to MUTE our voices?!? 

Daughters of those that served in WW2

No woman should be feeling like this - especially like me after Domestic Abuse you can see how it compounds my pain!

I am stuck in the duality of pain from DV & Lack of State Pension!

You can watch the footage of the rally on this link 

Working Class Hero

Women's Voices must be heard

Look how this is ageing me & challenging my health!

Bad housekeeping of the PM as I and others are costing the NHS 

from the ill health of being robbed of financial dignity!

Breaking Free from the Past pain

Robbed and punched and left for dead…. But no not robbed of my spirit and my inner fight to survive.   I have been robbed of my now and my future with another as who wants a woman with no means to support herself and others…..I maybe alone -  But I am Marjorie, The Moroccan criminal did not realise that an English woman and a Northerner cannot be broken….she may have been taken for a ride in her openness to love and to trust and to care…. But by God when she wakes to the full impact of his true character and his manipulative use of her… then she becomes strong and fights on for not only herself but other women too.   I have done so much with nothing and times of very little….. I have achieved much within this time alone… Even walked in parliament my stomach growling with hunger and with down trodden shoes …but walked tall turning the negative pain into campaign… 

A campaign to get women’s voices heard…. We need our dignity our financial dignity given back so we can free ourselves from the torturous talons of our perpetrator captors…talons that penetrate into our very being even after we have left that tethers us to the past… We need a government to see the pain and understand the pain of our pathway ... our need to heal and detox from the ugliness of violence upon us…. We need the loving support of a system that understands not one that fails us and continues to batter us down with no financial support to give us the dignity we deserve…. We are the victims not the criminals and for the DWP malpolicies to be designed to demonise those in need it is not acceptable for anyone that is in need of benefit help… Yes women want to work but have to be ready mentally, physically and spiritually to enter the work arenas …they cannot take the pressures immediately or for sometime after, even for years after with the post-traumatic stress and pain. Some will never be able to work never be able to reconnect with the woman they used to be….some so physically maimed not be able to work at all... I think of a survivor in my neighbourhood with her back broken by her perpetrator on morphine for the rest of her life and walks with a rolator every painful step a reminder of his fool deed on her...yet only in her thirties!  Policies to support need to be written with full understanding of the pathway of hurt and rebuild that is needed…. 

There can be those that do not understand that think “oh she is out of it she must get on with her life now!”  some women do get on with work life but at some point the pain pours out....... I have witnessed this is a long term survivor that held her self together for the sake of her kids.....but POW! when the kids were grown and independent then all the pain came thundering out of her and she had to go on the path of healing and detoxing from the ugliness of violence upon her........ 

Some will say. "what kind of a woman lets a man hit her I would never let a man touch me!” These remarks show ignorance of the nature of the criminal perpetrator on his prey.     It is like blaming or criticising a soldier captured & tortured by the enemy….. would you really fix blame on that soldier that fell to an ambush? Women were ambushed in a way. Women fell victim to a criminal perpetrator…. Who was manipulative of her heart and her love, used her and abused her….. held her in fear for some women but mostly held her in his manipulation of her love.  I once wrote an article that was published anonymously in the nursing press…I entitled the work “Caresses like Feathers, Fists like Iron!”… this was to give you the idea of the duality of the perpetrators character….. he can be gentle and caring and loving that is who you fell in love with.... then the monster in him reveals itself of being the violent controller… and yes his fists can be like iron…. as I write this I have the pain and imagery come back to me of what it is like to be punched so hard in the face in the eye and how the optic nerve can be so intensely triggered you are lost in the overwhelming bright light that is sent through your brain and seems to surround your very being to disorientate you.  I have seen my cheek and orbital area swell from looking out that in that moment been in a panic that my eye ball has been jolted out of my socket.  So intense the punch..

Then comes the caresses like feathers again and the remorseful holding of you in his arms. The begging of forgiveness and how can he do this to his precious darling…he won’t drink again he claims.  Then kisses he plants on the bruises he made….tenderly cares for you as you lay like an injured animal unable to move in shock on the bed.  He asks that you give him another chance… he will accuse you of making him angry and he lost control he did not know what came over him….He can even make the most wonderful love of his victim to capture her again in his monstrous talons of cruel manipulation of her heart and her loving nature.  She believes and she feels the love, but this is distorted love and yet it leads her to protect him, she becomes passive and can deny the attack on her being not only outwardly to the police but inwardly as she falls for his hall of mirror control of her.

It is bizarre I know even I looking back on the abuse I fell for ....now can see how bizarre this is….. if a total stranger came in your house and attacked you – you would be trying like crazy to shout for help or reach for the phone to get the police and prosecute…. But this is the man you love or the projected caring side of him that you love….. it is cruel beyond cruel that a man can do this to a woman rape and control her inner spirit and heart that simply just wants to love a man and care for him… as a partner in life…. Yet this criminal perpetrator character has an hidden agenda. a aim to use and abuse her and move on when he has done his foul deed of destroying her…. Or continues and continues till she can take no more and flees from his clutches……

Some glib remarks that come our way to suggest we enjoy his beating! How cruel some peoples ignorance can be…. Suggesting it is a form of consented enjoyed sadism…. But the chain the woman is bound with is the chain of 9 amino acids called oxytocin…. She fell in love with this monster bonded to the kind gentle side of him…the side he projected to win her over to deliberate capture her heart and this is why she stays, can even think she can heal him and make him better from the foul side of him…

Reading this like me typing this you can feel the heavy evil control of a criminal perpetrator over his prey…..

You can see how women need the time and space to heal and detox from this ugliness so needs a government DWP policy written with the understanding of this. Be non-judgemental and certainly not become a pseudo perpetrator by beating her down with failed support or inadequate support. 

Help us break free from the past not keep us tethered to the past and all its pain! We need financial dignity to truly heal and move on …but may not be ready for some time to enter the job market till we have fully detoxed from the vile control of our very nature as a woman that loves too much!

I am grateful that this blog has become a Voice for Women to be heard in Whitehall … It cannot be accepted as a formal written statement for the Home Affairs Select Committee Inquiry into Domestic violence as the blog is already out in the public domain….but can be referred too and is being read to help the committee understand… I am more than willing to go before the committee to share my experience as an expert by experience…..

Alongside this my voice has been heard in the City Hall of London through the Victim’s Commissioner report into assessing the victims pathway after all types of crime upon them…

So Marjorie is her mothers daughter and when knocked down get up and stands tall turns her pain into campaign for all women aside her and behind her that have survived domestic violence and just simply ask for the right of financial dignity to heal and rebuild their broken lives…

For those women that were born in 1950s that have been long term survivors of domestic abuse and reached old age with not the assets they once had… it is fundamental that she be permitted her state pension. Over 60s out of the job market find it very difficult to get paid posts offered but endless voluntary work offered…So this must be recognised on an individual case basis and under the protection of support for women survivors… In my situation to simply get my state pension would give some value and dignity back from this my motherland..... after all I have paid in to the system so have the right for this…. And if we as the WASPI campaign can get a lump sum compensation that would be wonderful for me to completely BREAK FREE from the past and truly rebuild what bit of my life is left to build as I enter my elderly years.

Please keep signing the petition to show your support for women's voices to be heard.... Many thanks Marjorie

Turning pain into Campaign!

Reform the DWP policies to help women heal and rebuild.... when will we get this right and fair for women? Sign the petition it is still on the go till I get some debate for reform. Petition for Strong & Stable Pathway of Support for Survivors This campaign must continue till achieved it goals no matter what happens to me... I have to get a better pathway of support for women!

Sunday Morning battering by failed system

I have been woken up this morning by the harassment of the energy company that provides my Gas & Electric.  I have accumulative arrears for my studio age restricted bungalow with the London Borough of Hillingdon.

The service provider does try to help me and over the last couple of years I have actioned all the suggestions and applied for energy grants but have been declined them.. The letters saying we can see you need help but more than a one off help. 
I have over this time had sanctioning from JSA for taking a volunteering post with an NGO..... I am on ESA for depression and have, as you know been recovering from poverty vitamin induced pneumonia - unable to fight off the chest infection that was doing its rounds at Easter.  I have been having bowel symptoms which required MRI scan to rule out cancer.  Thank goodness it is not cancer my surgeon tells me but can only be put down to poverty and inadequate daily diet.  He has asked of this blog link to join the campaign as shocked at my plight!  YES THIS IS THE UK in  2018!

I have repeatedly requested the energy service provider that supplies my gas and electricity to accompany me to the APPG Poverty for them to put forward a pilot study to help women survivors of domestic violence.  To offer a basic unit of usage free and then tarifs above this to be billed.... So women at least are able to keep the basics running and have some heating in winter. 

I have had bilateral breast operation in the past with breakdown of wounds and a fistula to the left thoracic region I need to keep the scar tissue warm or I get a dermatome nerve pain on a scale of 0 -10 that is 8 if the scar is cold.

I am a 1954 born women so as you know am a WASPI women unable to get her state pension..... I have repeatedly requested my Gas & Electric service provider to join our collective voices to get the DWP to be urgently reformed and for Theresa May the PM to act by a change in policies on pensions for the 1950s women-  to have their compensation of the lost £46,000 from the sudden shift in pension age from 60 to 66 yrs... I am not the only one having horrendous problems being pushed more and more in poverty.

We need companies that provide essential services to shout for us all in Government as it is not fair, I as a customer want to pay my bills but how can I when I have been getting between £38 - £44 a WEEK... I have evidenced my "income" or pittance to the energy supplier yet now I am being subjected to the collection hassle of being rung on a Sunday morning! One gets the impression by the caller that surely I must have a stash of cash under the mattress!  But I have repeatedly told the company I have been left penniless with my perpetrator. 

I am told I am being too political and they cannot do anything about this - but yes my situation is the result of failed political policies and yes they can do something about it.... they can join the voices to shout for urgent reform of the DWP. 

Why can I NOT get over the need for a better financial support for women survivors of domestic violence at any age... and when you think urgent for those with children too..... 

But I am also battered by the ridiculously thought out policies of the Cameron government on benefits as if all that use benefits are wasters and MUST find work..I am not a "something for nothing" I have paid in a considerable amount of tax over my years.. near on half a century tax.... with payslips to show not a mathematical illusion as one of the Tory backbenchers stated in the parliament debate 14th December 2017 !

I am trying trying trying to get paid work in among this.... there are jobs that I have been keen to be shortlisted for but it does not happen.... or there are obstacles like a need to go back to uni for a RTP which I must pay for! But I have no funds for....I cannot train as a teacher with the government promotion drive and get £26,000 while training - this is only on offer for younger students not over 60s who must pay for their training... as if we have loads of dosh to pay for this. 

I am shocked with the voluntary work I do in a destitute centre - we have poverty on a grand scale in London that makes you feel we have been flung into Dickens time but with electric and all our modern day paraphernalia...

It is so hard to have dialogue with this company now as they see my frustration as me going crazy...! In some ways it is a crazed situation as I am so so frustrated as I would like FINANCIAL DIGNITY that has been robbed of me by violent perpetrators..... It hurts like hell to have come to my most vulnerable years not the woman of substance I could have been and would have been if not fallen victim to violent controller and scammer!

I have been used and abused and now the system batters me...

I have had a panic attack this morning with this call and been retching and nauseous as if choking...... I feel the system as got me by the throat... 

Instead of a Strong and Stable platform of support and some reparation for the criminal damage upon my being.... 

And we need the PM to listen to the 1950s women and let us have the State Pension we have earned with our years to the Queen & Country... many of us worked since 15 yrs like me my first job as an office junior  in 1969.

I hope that recent job applications come to an offer... but you can see that in all attempts to try you sort of get kneecapped on the battleground of trying with upsetting calls like today.

A society without compassion ceases to be a society. 
The way a society treats the elderly is also a measure of that society... Sadly we are failing the elderly women bitterly! 

Shame on the Prime Minister for NOT hearing our voices.