Saturday, 2 September 2017

Support for Iranians today

Voices of those in pain of loss and those that were and are abused need to be heard in the world.. Good coming together today as a Global Family to care and shout for those in pain to be heard... 

 
Help me to help women's voices be loud and clear with my petition and my appeal to help women Many thanks Marjorie 
Sign and share to go viral as the problem already is viral... !
Support the Petition to get a Strong & Stable pathway of support for women
Help to me to promote the cause nationwide and fund workshops 
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Friday, 1 September 2017

meet up today

Good meet up today with the London Borough of Hillingdon Domestic violence advocate of 23yrs and part of a non political group of elected councillors that have a good rapport with the police and some of the women in the borough that are known to them. Some understanding was gained between us and she did soften her stance a little in the meeting.  I can see that we are kindred sisters that have gone through a lot in the past and escaped with our lives.. But each have a different style and approach to the aftercare.  I am grateful that she can if cases are known to her challenge the council and the DWP as an elected member of the council.  She has been concerned that through my activity and concern to improve the care, healing and empowerment of women that she has not come out as looking good in the matter.  Though I did highlight that coming on facebook in an open and global arena was not really the way to have gone about challenging me on the planned healing and empowerment weekend. 
There had been a suggestion by the councillor to take the matter to legal proceedings against me... But this I do not see as a threat and would bring the whole issue out in the open of how government is failing its state duty of care to women survivors on the pathway of rebuilding their lives. The media coverage would indeed be valuable. Though not really the headline I would have thought the London Borough of Hillingdon would want an advocate taking a fellow victim to court.  We need partnerships and love and care and compassion to help us all heal and move on through to new life.  

 The end of the day there quite simply should never been a drop in support and a system failing so as to accrue said debts for bailiffs to then hassle women. There should not be a situation where women feel that the system is beating her.  

 Anyway was good meeting overall and then went on to debrief my MP John and we have formulated a plan of action to look at the whole situation with the DWP and women that are survivors of domestic violence....The DWP overall is failing so many areas of need for support overall in the nation, sick, vulnerable and elderly.  The APPG on Poverty is most certainly helpful to raise concern that is dangerous for women if they are failed in support.   

 There is no competition with anyone that has been giving support with the % of the 1:4 stats of women nationwide and in the borough. It is impossible for groups and charities and counsellors and councillors to know of every case. Of course many had their history in other geographical regions.... but still bear the physical and psychological scars... and it takes time to rebuild their financial dignity from the perpetrators financial abuse.  There are many we will never know as will always be occult and never exposed.

 There were some criticisms of my history and my staying in violent relationships but this is well written about in papers and researched... I referred her to the TED lectures on "Crazy Love"..... but today was Eid and I felt Allah's love and care around not only me but the councillor and her fellow area councillor colleague... I could see intense past pain in the councillor and her auric energies spoke much of this..But she is a good soul and I could see this......I felt the weekend planned would have help her but she declined this or lunch as she felt she had other aspects of her life to get on with.  There was a suggestion I was getting obsessed by my campaign.. Well I too have other aspects of my life to get on with but the DWP failings and the constant hassle from the London Borough of Hillingdon along with the knowledge of other women also having problems makes this absolutely necessary to challenge to reform. 

 I may need her help too as when I got home there was another letter from the London Borough of Hillingdon demanding council tax. This is confusing as they are taking it direct out of my benefits... Anyway we need to sort out this front-line chaos and lack of support for women..as how the heck is anyone to eat pay other bills with less than £40 a week?!  I did point out to both the elected councillor and John my MP that it was a bafflement as the government have said there is a pot of £20 million to help women that have been victims of domestic violence.  So why was this not being tapped into and where is this going as those of us on the front-line are simply not receiving this support? 

 Support 
Clarity of care pathways
Attitude of care and compassion with practical support and guidance 
Clarity of financial resources available are required. 
Help with healing, detoxing from the ugliness of violence and empowerment are still very much needed. 
With this a need to network resources to work more efficiently together.

So my campaign continues...
Help me to help women's voices be loud and clear with my petition and my appeal to help women Many thanks Marjorie 
Sign and share to go viral as the problem already is viral... !
Support the Petition to get a Strong & Stable pathway of support for women
Help to me to promote the cause nationwide and fund workshops 
at

Wednesday, 30 August 2017

this is the UK 2017

you all know I am trying my best to do so much with what life I biologically have left on this earth.... even still studying on online courses and helping to challenge where there is pain and help rebuild lives that have been shattered and scattered by war..... so I am well and truly peed off with this letter from the DWP ... the London Borough of Hillingdon is hell bent on getting council tax from the house where I was attacked ... and the present OAP bungalow despite me being on ESA £55 a week and paying rent cap... with only just short of £65 a MONTH NHS pension... I am denied my state pension till 2020 when I am 66yrs if not died of starvation in the meantime....!!! My first job and tax with NI contributions was in Nov 1969.....WHAT IS WITH THIS GOVERNMENT it is like we are being deliberately starved to death..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL I NEED IS FINANCIAL DIGNITY - a dignity that was robbed from me by a criminal perpetrator in my life that broke my arm and my heart and left me for rubbish penniless.....This should NOT be happening to women with history of domestic violence and post traumatic stress.... it is not the society I want my motherland to be.. A society without compassion ceases to be a society...!! 
Help me to help women's voices be loud and clear with my petition and my appeal to help women Many thanks Marjorie 
Sign and share to go viral as the problem already is viral... !
Support the Petition to get a Strong & Stable pathway of support for women
Help to me to promote the cause nationwide and fund workshops 
at

Saturday, 26 August 2017

Studying to strengthen my voice

I enjoy learning on the coursera.org site and was well eager to join this course... so have enrolled and following the introduction now ... so a bank holiday of study and enlightenment... 
So studying with Prof Anne Firth Murray at Stanford University from my Laptop at home. You can too just enrol and be part of the Global class of students to share and learn together.  Prof Anne Firth Murray is Co-Creator, International Women's Health and Human Rights MOOC, Consulting Professor, Stanford University & Founding President, Global Fund for Women
Interact with a global community.

Connect with current students and alumni of the International Women's Health & Human Rights online course through our Interact with IWHHR portal. Join discussions, take part in video teleconferences, watch issue broadcasts, and more!
 http://www.internationalwomenshealth.org/

 Always my way to learn more and strengthen my voice for Women's Voices to be heard..
Help me to help women's voices be loud and clear with my petition and my appeal to help women Many thanks Marjorie 
Sign and share to go viral as the problem already is viral... !
Support the Petition to get a Strong & Stable pathway of support for women
Help to me to promote the cause nationwide and fund workshops 
at

Wednesday, 23 August 2017

Voice Heard today

Good morning at the Kings Place business meeting for the DVIP... was able to present my powerpoint pitch on the Healing and Empowering Women weekend.. 

 Together we were looking at options for moving forward with the idea and the need that I was presenting.  

 Women's voices heard and we will win to reach the stage we all need of regaining dignity and reconnecting with self and to be empowered as the amazing survivors we are...

 Love the venue so welcomed by staff and the venue is rather inspiring too.... 

 Good that the venue was near Kings X station as was able to nip up to Uxbridge on the metro line to the Wednesday women's group for the afternoon session. There was disappointment in the group at the loss of the plans to be at Brunel Spa Hotel but loads of positive energy that we will heal together and in fun ways.... The afternoon was lows but amazing highs with some therapeutic laughter to buffer all the crap we have been through... Sorry to be crude but our poor choice of fellas and their perpetrator horrid darkness makes it sometimes difficult to find the vocabulary to express in any other way. 

 The venue for the morning meeting at Kings Place had some interesting artwork but was rather apt to find this work...


My goodness readers and world we have are amazing to have survived all we have been through... We do need the support just to get the full healing and empowerment.  It is good to support one another and share.. The group sessions are useful...But Mind, Body & Spirit healing workshops will be great to help us restore the amazing Goddess within ourselves.  Most of all we need respect for the fact we are survivors..and be valued for this... 




apt canal boat name on in the King's Place marina - Narrow Escape.. 
Help me to help women's voices be loud and clear with my petition and my appeal to help women Many thanks Marjorie 
Sign and share to go viral as the problem already is viral... !
Support the Petition to get a Strong & Stable pathway of support for women
Help to me to promote the cause nationwide and fund workshops 
at

Monday, 21 August 2017

petition update today

Why roses on the post...you ask? it is a little trick I have learnt from my Syrian refugees that teach me to buffer pain and the ugliness of abuse with flowers.... The beauty is to remind us all of a power Greater than us All ...

 Here is todays petition update: 
21 AUG 2017 — Thank you for the additional signatures I do appreciate this and hope to be meeting with John McDonnell my MP soon to present the petition officially and discuss the whole matter. 
You will be seeing reports in the papers of the growing poverty and destitution in the UK from the very badly and quite frankly inhumane DWP policies..... People in need of help being left with no money for weeks - 6-8weeks. This is dangerous for women to fall into this lack of support. To be faced with no money, no food, no means to pay bills and no way to be able to rebuild her life after the abuse is utterly appalling. It is well know that part of the perpetrators character behaviour is to leave his victim penniless.... so a woman can have gone from successful career woman to being reliant on welfare for support. Welfare she has paid tax into I must stress and remind all.... You say well go back to work to the women... it is not a easy as that... she has to work through all the psych-social pain of the repeated attacks upon her whole being... She has to be ready to cope with the job market and the work place as we all know their are bully characters in the work area... and she has been living with a bully and is suffering the emotional scars from this....BUT give women financial dignity to heal and empower and she can get her life back on track and be an amazingly strong woman that has survived the journey to restoration and well being....... 
But how can she do this with a system that keeps letting her down and becomes politically and socially abusive to her... I feel for the women with children too that need to hold their family together through the journey of the detoxing from the ugliness of violence upon her. 

Some quotes from newpapers for you now: 
"Destitution is showing up in the data too. A recent Oxford University study carried out for the Trussell Trust found that 80% of people using food banks were severely food insecure, meaning they regularly went whole days without food. Average household income for this group was £319 a month; one in six reported no money coming in at all over the previous four weeks" ref: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2017/jul/03/desititution-ignore-welfare-cuts
MY NOTE: remember those on benefits have to pay a portion to housing benefit cap; council tax and still pay fuel bills and food and clothing.... the equation simply does not balance out does it?

"Alison Garnham, CPAG’s chief executive, said: “With the return of inflation, the benefits freeze has become toxic for struggling families. Rather than prioritising tax cuts, which help the better-off, the chancellor should use the autumn budget to invest in helping families with children. Ending the benefits freeze should be the first step he takes to rebalance the finances of ordinary families.”..." ref: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2017/aug/21/philip-hammond-urged-to-use-budget-to-help-low-income-families
MY NOTE:
Can you see that women survivors of domestic violence need a strong and stable pathway of support to cope with all trauma healing and need a protection from government failings....
Help me to help women's voices be loud and clear with my petition and my appeal to help women Many thanks Marjorie 
Sign and share to go viral as the problem already is viral... !
Support the Petition to get a Strong & Stable pathway of support for women
Help to me to promote the cause nationwide and fund workshops 

at

Tuesday, 15 August 2017

Mission in Life


at

Women together

Been a day of women in pain coming together and helping one another.  But it is so incredibly worrying as the UK falls more and more into social problems and lack of housing - that women that need support are being lost in the increasing demands. This cannot happen as to UN directives there is a State Duty of Care to women that have been subjected to violence in war and peace time. 

 Following all the trauma and need for healing she needs a safe, stable sacred space to be in.  We have problems with private landlords and the housing benefit failings, lack of social housing and social support failing as the demands in society increase. The DWP benefits dropping when women need this helping hand on the pathway of healing.  The stress from drops of support lead to more mental and physical problems, so this compounds issues... But has the failings occur it is so important for women to come together in hope and help to overcome the fear and the stress of all the challenges in the life rebuilding... Women's unified voices need to be heard...
Help me to help those voices be loud and clear with my petition and my appeal to help women Many thanks Marjorie 
Sign and share to go viral as the problem already is viral... !
Support the Petition to get a Strong & Stable pathway of support for women
Help to me to promote the cause nationwide and fund workshops 
at

Saturday, 12 August 2017

strong and stable pathway

There is a real need for a clear pathway of support ... with all agencies connecting ... you can see from this linear pathway that my planned weekend of healing and empowerment was for the mid to point B not the early stage of the abuse. The stage at A is confusion and pain and unable to think straight - utter turmoil... and I can see the local council have put together a reach out help webpage but often you are not able to have the energy nor the impetus to be proactive at this stage as you are raw in the changes that are occurring. This may sound crazy but you will also grieve for him gone... you grieve for the better times the time of the love that once was there be it now illusionary and controlling in nature. There are so many emotions and feelings whirling around along with the pain of all that has been done to your whole being.  

 I put this slide together last year when I was getting battered with drops in DWP support.  Compounded by not be able to get my State Pension being over 60yrs not not old enough for the new 66yrs criteria... After giving much thought and listening to all the work being done by groups and agencies in the Saving Lives conference it became apparent that there needed communication link ups.  It was also worrying that funding was an issue to keep the continuity... we have had proclamation that monies are available but it is not being seen on the frontline... we need accounts on this surely? 

 Some women moving geographically to another part of the country or next county can have breaks in support.   Women that do not attend GP or DWP appointments should not be dismissed as OK or sanctioned.. it is important for a befriending scheme to check on her.... she may be depressed or worse committed suicide. I have on numerous occasions requested to the DWP that files carry and alert on them.. So not to pull out support but keep that support continue but to check on the well being of the woman. 

 But I am going to point out .. Women should not be getting out of their homes it should be the perpetrator.... She may feel though that a change of home would be good at some point but she must not lose her home. Many women have been cheated by loss of assets from the home with the violent controllers, some may have had property but have lost it to the perpetrator or in long drawn out legal quarrels from their perpetrators - so she may be getting divorced and out of the relationship but his controlling claws are still affecting her life. Women's voices need to be heard.... 
Help me to help that voice be loud and clear with my petition and my appeal to help women Many thanks Marjorie 
Sign and share to go viral as the problem already is viral... !
Support the Petition to get a Strong & Stable pathway of support for women
Help to me to promote the cause nationwide and fund workshops 
at

Post trauma view

These are just a few of the slides I had prepared for the introductory talk to the Healing and Empower Women weekend.  My dear readers of this blog if you would like me to come along and give a talk as an expert by experience and a Graduate Nurse/Midwife practitioner that has worked with women that have been traumatised.  I would be most happy to come and I am sure we will have an interesting time of sharing and learning together.  Note I also help with the post traumatic counselling of Syrian refugees and have a Family Link Up project. I have work in line for publication.  Actually have an older article in the Nursing Journals entitled "Caresses like Feathers, Fists like Iron." this discusses the duality of perpetrator and how he can be incredibly loving and hook her back into the cycle of violence.  That article also was to make employers aware of the unexplained or frequent absences from work.  This is often from women hiding bruises and trying to hid the fact of their abuse. There can be a normalising of the abuse and seeing that they deserve this or that the perpetrator will say "You make me do this"... then is so incredibly remorseful and hyper loving for forgiveness that she stays and the cycle continues. 


 You can see from this glimmer of slides presentation that the journey of healing is complex after getting out from the danger. There is a lot of work to do to re-connect with the lost self and to find within the strength of the true woman you are.. Empowered and ready to take on the world again and be part of the world to live again.  For this we cannot have failings in financial support as it is so important to have financial dignity back. Until she is ready to return to work and is confident to cope with the inevitable found work bullies she needs supporting.  Women's voices need to be heard...... 
Help me to help that voice be loud and clear with my petition and my appeal to help women Many thanks Marjorie 
Sign and share to go viral as the problem already is viral... !
Support the Petition to get a Strong & Stable pathway of support for women
Help to me to promote the cause nationwide and fund workshops 
at

Much to offer

Healing and Empowering Women 
I have put a lot of thought in the planned weekend from listening to other women and their needs. In this from my journey of healing too. My choice of venue being the local university with the lovely womb like Spa hotel.... Deliberately chosen for the inspiration it would give women being on the campus.  A chance to see a way of rebuilding through academic study and fresh career pathway.  I had speakers, counsellors, therapist and other departments in the university to help out in workshops.  I had stylists and beauticians to help with the re-loving self and gaining confidence as the wonderful women we are that are SURVIVORS.... I had some women that have rebuilt their lives that saw this weekend as a way to reach back to other women on the journey and help them. 

 The weekend was not just for women in the borough but would have been advertised nationally and internationally with social media. 

The residential weekend was not for the acute stage but for women that are out of the danger but still suffering from the aftermath.  Psychological and physical trauma and spiritual trauma too as the whole of your being is abused with the constant exposure to the verbal and physical violence. The controlling nature of the perpetrator with the manipulation of your psyche means it is not that straight forward to say "oh you are out of it now move on!" There is a journey of healing, detoxing from the ugliness of violence and regaining confidence...and Be empowered to yes then move on and let go.  There is a need to get the anger and frustration of the inner pain you are in too.  So the workshops were designed to let that out the pain in a creative way.  Because the perpetrator is known in his behaviour to financially cripple his prey... the whole event was to be FREE to the women in need. This was also a consideration to the fact that many women would be on benefits and the failings of the DWP policies to support them fully. 

 We were seeking good sponsors. In this there was reach out to partner with a charity so that the sponsors could help them in fundraising too.  There were events to come on the campus where we were going to reach out to the students to increase awareness of the whole area of domestic violence and help fund raise for the charity partnered. 

It seems somewhat ironical that we as victims of abuse that have had our lives sabotaged that now a proactive and creative way of healing has been sabotaged.  I still feel bewildered why the LBH councillor said advocate for women wanted to sabotage this project without actually seeing the whole format and story.  She has fussed up the situation with her adherence to the what she clearly specialises in the acute phase of the attacks and trauma.  Caused concern in the university when we had not yet present the whole package to the chancellor for final approval... There was more planning and logistics to formulate as with any event.. So this has been squashed when no one other than the speakers and event co-ordinator have seen this full powerpoint... and all the additional thought and plans. 

This project was designed for those in the chronic rebuild of their lives stage, still carrying the hurt and the pain. There was no need to think of policing and security as the women to be accepted on this course were to be those out of danger and in rebuild of lives.

I am finding now how much I time and thought and desire to help I have put into this weekend of Healing and Empowerment.  Now I feel adrift and with this woman saboteur not even reaching out to apologise to me..  The way she has done this sabotage is quite worrying to come in on my facebook and invade my social media.... But it was useful her doing this on the open wall for all to see. All my international friends are shocked at the displayed attitude in the dialogue. 

The charity management team was to arrange a meeting with me and the event co-ordinator at the end of the month after annual leave.  They were excited at our interest as it coincided with their 25th anniversary and a conference to be presented.  It is very baffling and very worrying that the London Borough of Hillingdon council should take this action to stop me with this project and not see the value of the event being planned. It is a worry that the council feel they can decide for women what they should or should not have???!! Strange you would think they would embrace this with the university to be a model of best practice in helping women rebuild their lives and be empowered.  I know it may be uncomfortable for the Tory led council but the DWP policies have to be challenged to modification to help not fail women. So the petition is ongoing for a nationwide challenge to this need. Women's voices need to be heard.. 
Help me to help that voice be loud and clear with my petition and my appeal to help women Many thanks Marjorie 
Sign and share to go viral as the problem already is viral... !
Support the Petition to get a Strong & Stable pathway of support for women
Help to me to promote the cause nationwide and fund workshops 

at

Understanding Conference

I am a survivor and also a practitioner as a now retired nurse and midwife.  It is in my professional nature to find out more and understand.  So I was privileged to attend a conference on Saving Lives last year.  I was very moved at the care and thought groups and centres around the country were putting in to understanding and supporting women.... I was impressed with other models of care and how to help problem solve the violent behaviour of the perpetrators.  
The photo is of a caseogram that a counsellor in Suffolk has put together on two brothers.  This shows how many relationships those brothers had had.... and all the women's lives that had been affected by their violent abuse. 
It is so important to follow the UN directives and challenge the unacceptable behaviour of the perpetrators to stop the cycle of violence.  This is why I have much respect for the London based charity DVIP in their work with perpetrators as well as helping the women and the children affected.  
Their work involves one to one and group therapy of the perpetrator. Alongside this their victims are counselled separately and helped in their new life of detoxing from the ugliness of violence upon them..

 But look at that caseogram how many women have had their lives broken with these two brothers.. and all the support and aftercare and healing they need. It is majorly important we help them by getting government to review the DWP policies as they cannot and must not be in a situation of dropped financial support while they heal and rebuild their lives. 
Help me to help that voice be loud and clear with my petition and my appeal to help women Many thanks Marjorie 
Sign and share to go viral as the problem already is viral... !
Support the Petition to get a Strong & Stable pathway of support for women
Help to me to promote the cause nationwide and fund workshops 
at

Friday, 11 August 2017

Energised Coffee

My Votes for Women mug of coffee this morning given me the extra energy with inspiration. Thanks to parliamentary staff yesterday. Following through on directives so proactive email sent to continue to be a voice for women...  We cannot have a society that bullies and threatens women when they are in need of help, healing and empowering to rebuild their lives......Help me to help that voice be loud and clear with my petition and my appeal to help women Many thanks Marjorie 
Sign and share to go viral as the problem already is viral... !
Support the Petition to get a Strong & Stable pathway of support for women
Help to me to promote the cause nationwide and fund workshops 

at
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