Vitamin D deficit

Normally easy to get this in your diet if you have enough funds to purchase food for your daily dietary intake....but when you are sanctioned for finding NGO volunteer work and have stop in JSA payments and you have gaps in payment as you switch to ESA it is simply not possible to eat as good as one should be able too.... A fundamental human right to be able to have Maslows Hierarchy of needs met....Th PM put out a flyer from the Conservative party to say they have pulled a million out of poverty.... but I would counter this by saying they have shoved millions into poverty.  the APPG poverty meetings verify that that is a lot of work to be done to help the needy.... and I continue to say this is diagnostic of failed leadership.... poverty actually is a sign of bad management as it cost more in the long run with all the spin off problems... All citizens deserve financial dignity no matter their circumstances and especially if they are vulnerable survivors of domestic violence and over 60s.... Shameful that we have this situation in the UK in 2018 

Neighbour Complaint about me!!

 Well made it out of bed today and the shower worked to have a hot shower... did my washing and felt blessed as when I opened the door to peg out saw the woodpecker in the wood opposite.... he has started his drumming call and wow so beautiful feathers... wish I could have got you a photo........ then a car pulled up lol another blessing a young man got out and wanted to speak with me..... but he was from the council he says the neighbours have been complaining about my garden being unkept and there are rats and mice........ oh how can I do any gardening in this cold weather with a chest infection and arthritic knee and we live with this woodland across the road so we do have all sorts of fauna - foxes rats mices voles moles you name it is there....... and I have cats that like to hunt and bring me sometimes live rodents that I can rescue and put back saying sorry all the time and those that do not make it I bury with dignity... this is the biology of life....... Anyway with the thought and mind games been through with my fever this really does feel the turning point...... I do not feel surrounded by love and care here - there is maybe 3 neighbours that seem truly concerned another DV survivor, a Yemini lady and an Indian lady ...... but the rest make me feel victimised and I cannot have this around me..... so think it is best I move out to new pastures....... and it will help me move on from all the pain that has happened to me here in the London Borough of Hillingdon .... the council officer was upset with all that has happened to me and said OMG we really needed to help you more...... and that is true women need help to heal and rebuild their lives not have toxic poisonous people around them and system that fails her and batters her.....I have picked up my vitamin supplements from the doctor and the receptionist has made an appoint to see my GP this week but I am weakening but MUST STAY STRONG as I have not completed all I have to do on this earthly plane....... I HAVE MY FAMILY LINK UP to keep me going and inshAllah all will work out for us all........

Some photos when I had some funds to make the garden nice ... I changed it alone cutting down thick over grown weeds when I moved in and despite my pin and plate in my arm I would dig a little at a time to clear it.........then my grand daughter helped mw with the path laying ......and my girls got a nice garden chairs table and outside burner...... and solar lights ..........but this is how it looks now see photo after Pengu .... and this the neighbour garden - note he and his wife get full state pension and a pension from his profession as a prison officer he gets a new disabled car every 3 years for his arthritic knees and he has been through ca bowel little knowing that I have been referred for investigations too.....I am forbidden my state pension as I am a 1954 baby and have all the DWP failings no short listing for paid posts hassled to find work... yet 64yrs ...... but no he has to dig dig dig as he complains about everything even the drug addicts in the back alley he has now asked for gates to stop them using the alley for their fixes...... wow this is UK folks with all its problems and little old me is trying to live my life in among this...!! 

DWP SURVEY

Received this from a contracted in company ... I do not know if was randomly selected or deliberately chosen.... but I think it will take more than a 15 mins phone call with all I have to share.  I have the office address in Millbank so will go to them after Easter.... I need them to see how dangerous it is not to support women survivors better than at present.  the fundamental issue is that we are financially crippled by our perpetrators..... and the failings of the DWP keep us fixed to the past, tethered unable to escape!! WE need URGENT REVIEW AND REFORM.... and I am thinking we need reparation for all the pain we have been through too!

6 years on and it still hurts

it is 6 years since the brutal attack on me by my perpetrator - I was booked to do an agency shift at Charring Cross hospital that Saturday a 12 hour shift. I had been looking forward this as the unit has a good atmosphere and good staff ratio.... but I had had no sleep as Amine did not come home till the early hours of the morning around 4:30hrs he was drunk and I maybe should have said nothing but I challenged him to say please have some respect for me when I am working. I need sleep but if you are out I cannot sleep worrying about you. I never expected him to be a drinker and was not happy with this. All I was saying was ok go out but when you know I have a shift to come home early to help me..... I was pushed to the floor and then brutally kicked over and over again merciless on my butt..... I flayed my top free arm back in reflex to get him to stop... One of the kicks hit my arm my ulna being the bone that got the blow. This resulted in a nightstick fracture of the ulna. Called this as is common fracture if someone is being hit over the head with a stick that they cover their face in protection with their arm and the ulna gets the blow. 

Amine has never been prosecuted the CPS say this is insufficient evidence. 

Now I ask you too is it fair that the local council tortures me chasing me for council tax for the property where this attack took place. 

I have been ill over the last few weeks with a chest infection, bedridden with fever my mind playing over and over again all that I have been through. I feel trapped in poverty... Imprisoned with the failings of the DWP.....

There have been times when I have felt ready to work and enter job market to regain some financial dignity but I do not get shortlisted now over 60yrs. I know I would be a different person if I could get some financial dignity. What bit of NHS pension I got in 2015 I used to travel to help the refugees. I was alive I was Marjorie I was Sr Marjorie all that I am helping others and we have an amazing affinity for one another as we are all traumatised souls that have lost all through our perpetrators and trying to rebuild our lives.

I have written to the UK parliament departments for funding - to the EU for funding with the same response only funds available for NGOs not individual carer/befrienders. I got volunteer work with an NGO then was sanctioned by the jobcentre so lost my JSA

My case is not unique but one of many and many that have not got the energy in their depression to launch campaigns like this....

So I speak for all the survivors that are struggling penniless being forced further and further into poverty rather than helped... Just think if a whole year of some funds were available to cover all bills and give some dignity to heal from all the trauma... Get new household goods for a fresh start in a home that is a sacred space to heal... and some overlap of help while she tries some work. A woman has to be ready to cope with the work environment where there can be bullies as we know she has lived with a bully ... she must be mentally ready to cope. 

I know I can be ME the true ME if I could only get some financial dignity and now especially as I am entering my most vulnerable years as over 60 yrs... What would help at least would be to get my state pension .. how sad I am denied this too being born in 1954!

For all the women that have been battered, bruised, haematomas, broken backs, door handles lodged in neck, burst eardrums, attempted strangulations, memory lapses from so many head injuries from brutal criminal perpetrators .... we have to fight for a better deal for surviving all we have...

WE NEED URGENT REFORM OF THE DWP.... TO HELP WOMEN REBUILD LIVES NOT FIX THEM TO THE PAST PAIN BUT TRULY HELP THEM HEAL AND DETOX FROM THE UGLINESS OF VIOLENCE UPON THEM...... THEY SHOULD NOT BE BATTERED BY A FAILED ILL THOUGHT OUT SYSTEM...

Women survivors are real needs not a "something for nothing" set of people to be demonised..... and who are the something for nothing anyway???? People in need of help! 

A society without compassion ceases to be a society!

Toryitis...! The effect of failing the poor

Toryitis in 2018 from austerity cutbacks increasing poverty & failed DWP policies leaving the vulnerable without funds & inadequate funds.  Austerity costs in health of over 60s exacerbated by denied pension! Physical & Mental health needs financial dignity. women that have survived years of domestic violence & been financially crippled by criminal perpetrators should have a better pathway of support to heal & rebuild lives.  I have never felt so ashamed of the UK my motherland failing the vulnerable!  I have a very bad chest infection and just narrowly missed admission for wheezing.... I do have a history of sleep apnoeas but since my bilateral breast op do not need CPAP... I am feeling really weak but must keep strong for my voice to be heard.  My family and neighbour have been helping - but this should never ever be happening to women survivors of domestic violence that have been left penniless.  Vitamin deficiency in 2018 in the UK, teeth spontaneously crumbling with low calcium intake.  Joints and muscles hurting and muscles feeling weakened.  I have needed to try to preserve my physical dignity with the chest infection and harsh coughing.  I have limited clothes to change into. You need washing products for clothes and for your personal hygiene.  I am 64yrs now my birthday on the 16th March and I am entering my most vulnerable years with NO FINANCIAL DIGNITY.... All I need is Financial dignity... and to be able to do all the projects before I depart this world.... But I fear this horrible situation will result in the failed ill thought system killing me off...... - but is this what this heartless government wants the poor the vulnerable to perish in a slow death from poverty!  Many want to work and by god I have worked since 1969 and worked damned hard through busy shifts with no breaks and off late.... and this is the way I GET TREATED to be pushed more and more into poverty and ill health.  This is perverse and we need some form of reparation for the crimes committed against us by our perpetrators... but sadly the UK government in its present form is becoming a perpetrator of hurting the poor and vulnerable!! Shame on Government shame when they keep producing millions of £s to argue their case or keep in power or try to show they are doing "good" we on the frontline do NOT feel any millions £s of support.  Thank you for your support please see I am one case of tens of thousands of women not being supported as a society should to help them rebuild their lives with dignity. 

Distressing demands for Council tax

 I find it very distressing and perverse that I continue to be hounded by the London Borough of Hillingdon for the council tax for the last property I lived in where I was brutally attacked by my perpetrator. Kicked and sustained a fracture arm from his brutality.  I have asked and asked that this be waivered out of common decency for the situation I am faced with.  I have been left penniless... yet I have been asked to pay not only the council tax on the last property but expected to pay council tax on the OAP studio bungalow I am housed in now... Demands for money I have not got... lump sums to pay they say since 2015 when I have been receiving by law the £73.10 a week which was titrated to £55 a week because I get just short of £65 a MONTH NHS pension.  This as I have shared with you before baffles me as claimants can have up to £16,000 in savings and still get benefits of JSA and ESA... yet I have nothing no assets and because I get the monthly very small NHS pension it is deducted from my over said by law amount of £73.10 that I must live off. Not even permitted to be a little be extra for me to live off.   I have to pay housing benefit cap too but because I am being pushed into extreme poverty I cannot pay.  
The email from the:-
Specialist Recovery Officer
London Borough of Hillingdon
States she can not make comment on all the email pleas before sent. But outlines what must be paid and what should be taken from my benefits!

The email I have answered and sent to my MP John McDonnell and as the PM Theresa May and Amber Rudd the Home Secretary had been declaring on International Women's Day that they would be helping women survivors they have been sent the response too.  I have included Boris Johnson as the property where I was attacked is in his now constituency and as he had promised to help me when the Mayor of London and had insisted I get Mr Puddifoot the council leader of the LBH to help me and let him know how he was helping me ...so I have included them too.  Alongside the lawyer who secured legal aid for me to facilitate the divorce from my perpetrator and I have sent a copy to the chair of the APPG Poverty where I have been voicing my concern that women need a better financial pathway of support, as we have been left in poverty and are pushed further and further into unbearable undignified poverty.  

In fact I think some reparation for the foul deeds upon me and other women by their perpetrators should be looked at.. To receive a lump sum settlement to help us feel safe from all this system failure hassle would be a big plus on our way to healing and rebuilding our broken lives.   The whole DWP needs review and the treatment of those in need of support.  It really is not acceptable to have this torment on top of the torture of the violence. 

I have refered them to the pdf debate pack where the PM is promising £20 million as part of a £100 million package to help survivors but point out that this is targeted to refuges and MUST also be there to help women rehoused in the wider community rebuilding their lives!

ref:  DEBATE PACK Number CDP-2017-250 8 December 2017

This week I have a chest infection with pronounced wheezing and a nasty barking tickly cough  it has given me a lot of thoracic pain where my breast surgery scars are particularly over the left area..... and also i have needed personal hygiene things to keep my dignity.  When practising as a nurse and midwife I have always kept my patients and mothers clean and with dignity. yet here I am this week struggling to get the pads I need.  I have a GP review that was pre-planned anyway for me this Friday - my birthday when I turn 64yrs old. Yet I am denied the dignity of my STATE PENSION being one of the WASPI women that the nation has from a sudden shift in pension age. 

I feel immensely let down by my country my motherland... and it is not the land my mother and father fought for as early Labour Party members.  I was asked to join the Tory party with the councillor that helped me with Boris to get this OAP bungalow that I am in now.  But I refused how can I join a party that has no compassion for the citizens of the land that need help.... are not social malingers evading work.. My goodness my first job was in 1969... and i have given much to this country in unpaid hours as a RN RM working like many of us do through breaks and get off late to serve our patients....  I cannot believe that I am treated like this now with no love and respect for all I have done and care and compassion for all I have been through. You know I try and try and try to regain financial dignity but no one wants to employ a 64 yrs old woman and one that is now through this failed system is feeling worn out exhausted instead of healed and with peace and rebuilt life. 

I would like to extend my gratefulness to my neighbour who sat and listened to me in the night... she suffers insomnia and always tells me to call round if I am upset than be alone.  She is appalled at all this and she sees in me how it keeps me tethered to the past pain... she saw how I feel the pain over and over again of the beatings and the punches the kicking and hear again the horrid foul words that my perps have said to me... 

I ask you readers is this the way you want this country to treat women survivors of Domestic Violence! It certainly is not the way I want women to be treated!! TIME FOR REFORM OF THE DWP POLICIES - TIME FOR A FULL REFORM OF HELP TO HEALING AND DETOXING OF THE UGLINESS OF VIOLENCE  TIME FOR PEACE AND REBUILDING OF BROKEN LIVES WITH LOVE CARE AND COMPASSION. 

I WILL CONTINUE TO GET WOMEN'S VOICES HEARD!

Incompetent System battering continues

Today I went into London to a Teaching Open Day with a hope I can get some paid part time hours. read more on this link. Get into Teaching Open Day  You see I had this booked to attend when I was sanctioned by the Jobcentre... but the agent would not accept my efforts.... Today felt had a worth even though I can feel my body getting older slower and more painful.  Then when I came home had mixed reception... one of surprises from my daughters leaving me flowers and chocs and some yummy food.  The post was brought in and look just look - not one but FOUR letters exactly the same..... each four pages... and look at the amount to get each week to live off.... The DWP is insistant deducting my small NHS pension of £64.99 a MONTH from my benefits as the poor have to survive on £73.10 a week out of which £19.10 as week the LBH want to the benefit cap and have to pay council tax....fuel and food and clothing and basic care goods... ohhh and do not forget they are taking out £7 a week for the council tax said arrears from the last property where I was attacked....... Sorry but this does not work out Mrs May.. and not good when women are trying and trying and trying to heal and rebuild their lives. 

Love the way Nicola always gets cards in the WASPI colours... it is as a reminder to all that it is not just the women denied the pensions hurting... but the families too.  They love their mothers and grandmothers and see this is an unfair situation. So many women are knackered - life weary and just need to get some peace and dignity from their state pension. So for the PM to keep ignoring the WASPI women is a political suicide in the next election. Women and their families are not impressed and will not be voting for this government. 

Robbed by Perp Robbed by State

🤷‍♀️reflecting back on all I have done over my 64 yrs of life.... worked since 1969 - today got a 24 page work capability questionnaire as forbidden my State Pension till 66yrs and not so sure will make it to then... with the system battering me as it is... I was robbed by two perpetrators and now robbed by the state... yes if feel bloody awful and yes makes you feel angry frustrated and depressed and trapped..... No paid work offered these days, loads of voluntary work offered, struggling to get customers for my NYR which would get me some earnings, cannot get funding for my family link up project with masses of ideas for rebuilding their lives and mine... ALL I NEED IS FINANCIAL DIGNITY AND FREEDOM... but today told my someone I respected that "I bang on too much and bring my own downfall I bring a lot on myself.." SORRY!!!! so does that apply to ALL the tens of thousands of other Waspi WOMEN too... !!! not a nice thing to say when I have been a battered wife and now battered by the state...all because the DWP policies will not support women survivors on their journey of healing and recovery of confidence and well being!!

PM acting like Mother Theresa saying she will help DV survivors yet we are being pushed into poverty... while she found £1billion to pay the DUP to keep her job!!!! Sick world so so sick..... and the system making people sick too!!

This is the questionnaire and I find it perverse that cancer patients should be hassled to in this way. How you supposed to get well when constantly hassled and worry about money. Money you paid into a system supposed to be there when you are in need and others in need.

But there is a very worrying point. I was assessed by a qualified GP a good doctor who is also a lecturer and trains other GPs...... she knows my case history and made a clinical assessment and judgement on me that I needed a couple of months sick with review on the 16th - but on receipt of this sick note there has been this 24 page document sent to assess for work capability. I am 64 this month and my body is feeling older especially with all this hassle. Can there be no peace for me.. and some dignity from a state pension....Some of the questions are worrying as someone terminally ill could answer yes to these questions... would they really be expected to restock shelves in a local supermarket!! Feels like they will want us to dig our own graves at this rate. Never did I think I would come to this and be treated like this ... hassled to torture me over and over again... that the only reason I am in the situation I am in is because of not one but two criminal perpetrators that used me and abused me violently attacked me and robbed me of all my assets... WHEN WILL MRS MAY REALISE THERE NEEDS TO BE REFORM OF THE DWP FOR SURVIVORS OF DV..... !!!!