6 years on and it still hurts

it is 6 years since the brutal attack on me by my perpetrator - I was booked to do an agency shift at Charring Cross hospital that Saturday a 12 hour shift. I had been looking forward this as the unit has a good atmosphere and good staff ratio.... but I had had no sleep as Amine did not come home till the early hours of the morning around 4:30hrs he was drunk and I maybe should have said nothing but I challenged him to say please have some respect for me when I am working. I need sleep but if you are out I cannot sleep worrying about you. I never expected him to be a drinker and was not happy with this. All I was saying was ok go out but when you know I have a shift to come home early to help me..... I was pushed to the floor and then brutally kicked over and over again merciless on my butt..... I flayed my top free arm back in reflex to get him to stop... One of the kicks hit my arm my ulna being the bone that got the blow. This resulted in a nightstick fracture of the ulna. Called this as is common fracture if someone is being hit over the head with a stick that they cover their face in protection with their arm and the ulna gets the blow. 

Amine has never been prosecuted the CPS say this is insufficient evidence. 

Now I ask you too is it fair that the local council tortures me chasing me for council tax for the property where this attack took place. 

I have been ill over the last few weeks with a chest infection, bedridden with fever my mind playing over and over again all that I have been through. I feel trapped in poverty... Imprisoned with the failings of the DWP.....

There have been times when I have felt ready to work and enter job market to regain some financial dignity but I do not get shortlisted now over 60yrs. I know I would be a different person if I could get some financial dignity. What bit of NHS pension I got in 2015 I used to travel to help the refugees. I was alive I was Marjorie I was Sr Marjorie all that I am helping others and we have an amazing affinity for one another as we are all traumatised souls that have lost all through our perpetrators and trying to rebuild our lives.

I have written to the UK parliament departments for funding - to the EU for funding with the same response only funds available for NGOs not individual carer/befrienders. I got volunteer work with an NGO then was sanctioned by the jobcentre so lost my JSA

My case is not unique but one of many and many that have not got the energy in their depression to launch campaigns like this....

So I speak for all the survivors that are struggling penniless being forced further and further into poverty rather than helped... Just think if a whole year of some funds were available to cover all bills and give some dignity to heal from all the trauma... Get new household goods for a fresh start in a home that is a sacred space to heal... and some overlap of help while she tries some work. A woman has to be ready to cope with the work environment where there can be bullies as we know she has lived with a bully ... she must be mentally ready to cope. 

I know I can be ME the true ME if I could only get some financial dignity and now especially as I am entering my most vulnerable years as over 60 yrs... What would help at least would be to get my state pension .. how sad I am denied this too being born in 1954!

For all the women that have been battered, bruised, haematomas, broken backs, door handles lodged in neck, burst eardrums, attempted strangulations, memory lapses from so many head injuries from brutal criminal perpetrators .... we have to fight for a better deal for surviving all we have...

WE NEED URGENT REFORM OF THE DWP.... TO HELP WOMEN REBUILD LIVES NOT FIX THEM TO THE PAST PAIN BUT TRULY HELP THEM HEAL AND DETOX FROM THE UGLINESS OF VIOLENCE UPON THEM...... THEY SHOULD NOT BE BATTERED BY A FAILED ILL THOUGHT OUT SYSTEM...

Women survivors are real needs not a "something for nothing" set of people to be demonised..... and who are the something for nothing anyway???? People in need of help! 

A society without compassion ceases to be a society!